The County Guy

2012-01-27T03:01:00.001-06:00

"The County Guy: Part 3," written by Fred Fox Jr.

2011-12-12T05:42:00.001-06:00

We jumped the shark quite a while back there friend. That said, Happy Days went on for five more seasons. 

If there's any specific format change you have in mind you can outline it and email to thecountyguy@gmail.com and maybe your people and our people can do lunch, Ciào.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T10:40:00.002-06:00

While life for all of us is far from perfection we still have much to be thankful for.
Have a great holiday!

Drones?

2011-11-01T23:37:00.002-05:00

Open Post

2011-10-19T01:18:00.004-05:00

Have fun.

2011-09-25T16:00:00.003-05:00

Congrats and good luck.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

2011-09-03T00:01:00.003-05:00

Meet the new boss,

same as the old boss. They fooled you guys twice now, shame on you.

Summer time, and the livin' isn't easy?

2011-08-16T12:11:00.001-05:00

2011-07-23T15:57:00.003-05:00

Who doesn't?

2011-06-23T03:18:00.001-05:00

Untitled Post

2011-05-16T22:17:00.001-05:00

Pause for a moment.

2011-04-03T21:02:00.001-05:00

You guys are better than this. Put the pointless bullshit to the side and discuss things without insulting each other. We know that requests like this usually yield dramatic drops in posting but quality beats quantity. The core concepts this site was built upon need shine through this shit talking mess.

This site was created as an open line of communication between all areas of the department. By posting here you unofficially chronicle all things good and bad that heretofore would be swept under the rug. Mistakes would be forgotten and repeated. There is definitely room for humor and cause to lampoon those deserving of it. The department has had its moments of triumph and spent heaps of time in the cellar. But to dwell on such pettiness distracts us from the big picture all around us. The anonymous nature of the commentator here is to shield one from political and workplace retaliation. Try not to engage in baseless and anonymous insults via the internet.

Thank you all for taking your time to share your experience, opinion and humor.

The new site is in developmental stage. It won't be too long now kids.

2011-03-24T14:01:00.002-05:00

This may be one of the last Open Posts.

2011-03-02T22:12:00.002-06:00

Open Post

2011-02-15T22:09:00.002-06:00

There are some new links on the right. Thanks for the email.

2011-02-06T22:59:00.003-06:00

Open Post

2011-01-27T00:12:00.002-06:00

Open Post

2011-01-12T12:11:00.002-06:00

Yeah baby yeah!

2010-12-29T22:51:00.009-06:00

Merry friggin X-Mas!

2010-12-17T02:10:00.002-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T09:51:00.001-06:00

Blogger is being a pain so we'll upload a pic later if we still feel like it.

Money

2010-11-20T15:32:00.001-06:00

It's November 20th and this is traditionally the time of year for all kinds of layoff talk. In this comment thread we ask all of you to suggest ways in which the administration can operate this department more efficiently. List any practical ideas you may have that will save money, streamline operations and generally improve the department.

Administrators, your mission is to read these ideas and ~~completely disregard them like usual~~ utilize any valuable input because you're all doing such a ~~great~~ shitty job.

I'm in the hi-fidelity
First class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet

Business as usual

2010-11-09T15:55:00.001-06:00

Open Post

2010-10-19T13:35:00.002-05:00

Weeks from now it's likely that we will know little more of what the future holds for the department as a whole than we do on this day. There's little doubt that Mr. Dart will retain the title of Sheriff after the November election. We apologize if we're the bearers of bad news to the fans of Frederick Collins. We're not political analysts but we can safely say that the odds are against him. We could also say that he has a better chance of hitting a walk-off homer to win the a World Series for the Cubs, winning the lottery or forming a perfectly packed snowball in hell. Just to be clear, if a photo of Tom Dart snorting lines of blow with a dozen strippers were to appear on the front page of the Sun-Times he would still beat Frederick Collins. Keep the faith if you must but travail not in self-deception.

If Mr. Dart get's his way he'll become mayor of the cluster-fuck formerly known as the great city of Chicago. The field of candidates has yet to thin and he'll definitely face formidable opposition. Nonetheless he's a tough contender. To win or lose is a call to be made elsewhere.

The more pressing matter is where all this leaves us.

What we ask of you (our faithful minions) is that you reflect upon all events and departmental changes to your respective divisions of the Sheriff's Office over this Sheriff's tenure and of your career. Where do you see this department heading if Dart stays? What projects of his will fall upon his exit? What positive/negative affect has Dart had on the dept?

We'll pay respect to your posted opinion as long as you articulate like an adult.
We really love deleting comments these days. We're attempting to cut out some of the more unintelligible waste in an effort to encourage those with an intelligently formed opinion to share it without falling victim to baseless insult.

To the exempt staff:

We hope you realize that you could do more with this site than peruse it to read how people are bitching about you. Be glad we delete as many comments as we do. You all read this and we're not suggesting that you identify yourselves here and defend your actions. What would be nice though would be a little bit of insight from up high into the inner workings and future plans of this department. Chicago Police exempts contribute to SCC all the time by comment and email. It would seem that our command staff contributes little more than aperiodic commentary. On occasion we've been the recipient of angry email demanding this and that be stricken. We challenge you to ante up.

Humor remains welcome. Rumors are encouraged. Tread lightly.

Open Post

2010-09-27T16:19:00.001-05:00

Please stand by.

Open Post

2010-09-04T10:52:00.001-05:00

Open Post

2010-08-23T12:56:00.001-05:00

Open Post

2010-08-09T03:15:00.002-05:00

Try not to piss us off.

Open Post

2010-07-25T04:29:00.001-05:00

Well kids, for far too long we have tolerated too many posts that have done nothing to elicit discussion or promote the sharing of information throughout the department. We have strayed from our original purpose. For this thread we will be moderating comments more strictly. You, the poster, will be held to a higher standard.

You will not rat each other out in here. It sickens us that some would feebly and transparently endeavor to create bad press for the Sheriff at the expense of officers. The end does not justify the means and it'll never see the light of day. In this comment thread you will not insult or attack each other. You may offer criticism if it is constructive and we encourage you to include a suggested solution to actions criticized. Humor is still welcome, but tread lightly.

When asking the blog operators a question please email instead of posting it in the comments.
When posting links please preface the link with brief description.

The number of views/posts means nothing to us. We don't get paid to do this.
Improve the quality of your content on this post. You're better than what you've shown so far.

Open Post (Closed 25 JUL 10)

2010-07-15T00:10:00.001-05:00

Morale is in the shitter.

Open Post

2010-07-11T02:23:00.001-05:00

Open Post (Closed 11 JUL 10)

2010-06-29T03:11:00.002-05:00

Summertime, and the living is easy.

Open Post (Closed 29 JUN 10)

2010-06-18T15:06:00.002-05:00

"$20M marijuana bust is one of Cook Co.'s largest"

Open Post (Closed 10 JUN 10)

2010-06-07T19:57:00.003-05:00

Open Post (Closed 07 JUN 10)

2010-05-31T00:03:00.001-05:00

Open Post (Closed 31 May 10)

2010-05-23T21:05:00.006-05:00

Arthur J. Bilek
Chicago Police Lieutenant
Special Investigator for the Cook County State's Attorney
Chief of the Cook County Sheriff's Police
Founder, Chairman and Professor of the University of Illinois, Chicago, Criminal Justice Department
Now named: Executive Vice President of the Chicago Crime Commission

Open Post (Closed 23 MAY 10)

2010-05-21T22:20:00.001-05:00

Open Post (Closed 21 MAY 10)

2010-05-18T19:22:00.003-05:00

Open Post (Closed 18 MAY 10)

2010-05-12T23:25:00.004-05:00

Reno 911! - Police Helicopter - watch more funny videos

Riot Police Prank - watch more funny videos

Police Sketch Artist - watch more funny videos

Open Post (Closed 12 MAY 10)

2010-05-08T19:12:00.009-05:00

He's back baby! Mike Sheahan in the news in Ireland for throwing a fundraiser for Bucktown mugging victims.

Here too.

Open Post (Closed 08 MAY10)

2010-05-01T12:58:00.001-05:00

Open Post (Closed 01 MAY 10)

2010-04-28T08:34:00.005-05:00

This is not a photograph of uniformed officers.

Open Post

2010-04-19T21:31:00.001-05:00

Sometimes we check the email and are rewarded with comedy.

Open Post (Closed 19 APR 10)

2010-04-04T13:11:00.003-05:00

Open Post (Closed 04 Apr 10)

2010-03-22T19:16:00.004-05:00

Open Post (Closed 22 MAR 10)

2010-03-11T22:39:00.002-06:00

Open Post (Closed 11 MAR 10)

2010-02-25T15:15:00.006-06:00

Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community. Stay out of Malibu County Guy. Stay out of Malibu deadbeat!

Open Post (Closed 25 FEB 10)

2010-02-14T22:46:00.003-06:00

(Actual Photo of ISPeeved)

There have been some recent concerns about anonymous posting. If you wish to remain anonymous while commenting on this site and others we offer the following advice:

Don't post comments from a county computer... you fucking dumbass.

From your own goddamn computer you can use what's called a proxy server. In layman's terms it would be a "middle man" between your computer and the website you are connected to. "An anonymous proxy server (sometimes called a web proxy) generally attempts to anonymize web surfing. There are different varieties of anonymizers. One of the more common variations is the open proxy. Because they are typically difficult to track, open proxies are especially useful to those seeking online anonymity, from political dissidents to computer criminals. Some users are merely interested in anonymity for added security, hiding their identities from potentially malicious websites for instance, or on principle, to facilitate constitutional human rights of freedom of speech, for instance. The server receives requests from the anonymizing proxy server, and thus does not receive information about the end user's address. However, the requests are not anonymous to the anonymizing proxy server, and so a degree of trust is present between that server and the user. Many of them are funded through a continued advertising link to the user."

If you want to spend a little money you can use a pay service like Anonymizer.

Some easy and free ones to use are:

Hide My Ass

Web Evader

Free Proxy (from Canada eh)

Proxy4Free

One free method we've been aware of for some time but have been receiving emails about is TOR. Read this article in Wired Magazine that one of you emailed us.

Tor is the shit.

We'll use a mathematical formula derived from one we saw at court the other day.

+

+

=

The only thing that sucks about proxy servers is that pages load at slower rates than normal.

Stop pissing your pants and worrying about anonymity.

Open Post (Closed 15 FEB 10)

2010-02-04T18:47:00.008-06:00

Open Post (Closed 04 FEB10)

2010-01-14T02:07:00.002-06:00

Open Post (Closed 14 JAN 10)

2010-01-01T16:52:00.001-06:00

Open Post (Closed 01 JAN 10)

2009-12-20T03:19:00.004-06:00

Open Post (Closed 20 DEC 09)

2009-12-14T01:37:00.001-06:00

Open Post (Closed 14 DEC 09)

2009-11-30T23:15:00.001-06:00

Open Post (Closed 30 NOV 09)

2009-11-16T21:18:00.003-06:00

This is always a good time so come out and raise a glass to the fallen. It would be nice to see the Sheriff there for at least a couple of minutes too.

A wall of their own for Cook County's fallen (nice article)

P.S. Hey Sajdak, collectively we can't imagine an objection to a couple bucks more for mixed drinks and bottled beer.

Open Post (Closed 16 NOV 09)

2009-11-08T22:20:00.004-06:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 08 NOV 09)

2009-10-26T23:29:00.002-05:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 26 OCT 09)

2009-10-13T15:41:00.010-05:00

It's close enough to Halloween.

Tasteless? We beg to differ.
Chauvinistic? It's an arguable point.
Festive? Yeah baby you got that right!

Cook County Open Post (Closed 13 OCT 09)

2009-10-04T19:01:00.007-05:00

From the Sun-Times:
"The Cook County sheriff's office is seeking to impose a mandatory retirement age of 65 for its employees, said Steve Patterson, a spokesman for Sheriff Tom Dart."

Cook County Open Post (Closed 04 OCT 09)

2009-09-27T21:20:00.007-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Cook County Open Post (Closed 27 SEP 09)

2009-09-20T21:14:00.008-05:00

Anonymous said...

This site and MANY of you people are really an embarrassment.

September 20, 2009 6:49 PM

This site is a loathsome offensive brute, yet you can't look away!!!

Cook County Open Post

2009-09-14T16:16:00.003-05:00

Insert picture here.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 14 SEP 09)

2009-09-05T14:05:00.004-05:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 05 SEP 09)

2009-08-22T12:31:00.001-05:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 22 AUG 09)

2009-08-13T11:38:00.004-05:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 13 AUG 09)

2009-08-03T12:52:00.003-05:00

Caption contest?

Update: The poll resulted in a tie between these two:

"Oooh cameras! Oooh shovels!! Gotta put on my "I'm just an average hardworking Joe baseball cap". There we go, instant populist."

"SHOVEL $22.50 BASEBALL HAT $15.00 POLO SHIRT $85.00 ASSHOLE DIGGING UP THE AFRICAN AMERICAN VOTE FOR COUNTY BOARD PRESIDENT........ PRICELESS"

Thanks to the contributors.

Photo: Rich Hein/Sun-Times

Cook County Open Post (Closed 03 AUG 09)

2009-07-20T22:13:00.010-05:00

Miss Cleo didn't see that one comin'.

Sure it's an open post but if you think you can predict what the future holds for the department or anything else local we'd love to read about it.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 20 JUL 09)

2009-07-09T20:37:00.008-05:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 09 JUL 09)

2009-06-26T22:27:00.003-05:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 26 JUN 09 )

2009-06-18T23:58:00.007-05:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 19 JUN 09 )

2009-06-04T22:06:00.008-05:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 04 JUN 09 )

2009-05-21T00:51:00.008-05:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 21 MAY 09 )

2009-05-10T20:17:00.008-05:00

Cook County Open Post ( 10 MAY 09 )

2009-04-29T19:40:00.003-05:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 29 APR 09 )

2009-04-20T19:31:00.002-05:00

"Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 20 APR 09 )

2009-04-12T02:17:00.002-05:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 12 APR 09 )

2009-04-01T19:15:00.004-05:00

Godspeed Chief

2009-03-31T13:10:00.003-05:00

Sheriff's police chief retires after 30 years

From the Southtown Star's website.

BY WILLIAM LEE, staff writer

After 30 years of quieting jail inmates, busting drug dealers and tracking murderers, the chief of the Cook County sheriff's department is calling it quits.

Bill McHenry suits up today for his last day on the job that saw him work his way up from jail guard to the department's first full-time black chief.

"I'll miss the camaraderie of the people I work with and the staff and the excitement of being a policeman," said McHenry, a resident of the south suburbs. "It's just the right time to go."

Last week, McHenry, 54, had a farewell tour through the different county offices, including the sheriff's police office at the Markham Courthouse to say his goodbyes.

"He's going to be very difficult to replace - if that's possible. He just has unique skill sets that you can't get anywhere," Sheriff Tom Dart said. "He's one of the nicest, most humble people you ever met, and he combines that with incredible intellect."

In addition to being a jail guard at Cook County jail, McHenry also served as a patrol officer, detective, sergeant and commander of the gang unit. He's also served the criminal intelligence and vice squads. He's been chief since December 2006.

He is the first black sheriff's police chief to rise through the ranks. In 1986, Sam Nolan became the sheriff police's first black top cop, but on an interim basis.

McHenry's greatest accomplishments were the crackdown of suburban drug markets in the 1990s using surveillance, which has become a major weapon used by the Chicago police department. The plan, which he spearheaded, resulted in hundreds of drug arrests from Evanston to Ford Heights.

McHenry had come a long way after graduating from Arkansas State University in 1977 seeking a career in law enforcement. After briefly serving as a deputy sheriff in his native Arkansas, he moved to Illinois in 1978, serving as a juvenile probation officer in Lake County. The next year, he began work as a jail guard in Cook County, where he worked until moving to patrol in 1981. He lived in Chicago's Bronzeville neighborhood and the South Chicago community before moving to the south suburbs.

During his long career, one of his most troubling cases, he said, was when the bodies of two newborns were discovered in an alley garbage can in Stickney Township in June 2003.

"The death of children and seeing them is really difficult to deal with," said the father of two adult children and grandfather.

McHenry said he looks forward to a more quiet life, though he doesn't rule out a future gig in law enforcement.

"I can go back and spend some time with the family, enjoy retirement for a while," he said.

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 01 APR 09 )

2009-03-26T20:33:00.013-05:00

You don't love me:

You just love my doggy-style.

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 26 MAR 09 )

2009-03-13T17:52:00.008-05:00

You know who runs the show.
Be safe and have a great week of green.

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 13 MAR 09 )

2009-02-28T13:06:00.003-06:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 28 FEB 09 )

2009-02-17T13:14:00.003-06:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 17 FEB 09 )

2009-02-08T01:35:00.002-06:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 08 FEB 09 )

2009-01-30T11:00:00.004-06:00

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 30 JAN 09 )

2009-01-06T00:02:00.004-06:00

We'd like to thank the person that emailed these to us. If anybody else has any old photos from Police, Courts or Corrections we'd love to see them.

From our email:

2009-01-06T00:01:00.002-06:00

Hello County Guy; I am a P.O. from CPD and I am in the process of publishing a new and improved handbook for your Corrections guys. I would also like to publish a hand book for the Sheriff's Police and Court Services people as well. I am currently unaware of any existing handbooks for the Sheriffs Police and Court Services, but I would like to make them. I have already published a handbook for CPD and it has been a huge success. Check out my website at www.Chicagocop.com.

If you would be so kind as to start a separate post on your blog for comments and suggestions for things that should be included and/or improved in the handbooks for each corrections, court services, and police that would be great. My goal is to put out a detailed and resourceful Field Guide that can be carried in the uniform pocket to make an Officers life a little bit easier at work.

Thanks for any assistance,
P.O. Michael Chuchro
CPD

--------

Feel free to offer your suggestions in the comments section for this post.
Stay on topic.

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 06 JAN 09 )

2008-12-24T12:09:00.005-06:00

HAVE A SAFE AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Cook County Open Post ( Closed 24 DEC 08 )

2008-12-10T02:47:00.003-06:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 10 DEC 08)

2008-12-04T02:40:00.004-06:00

Thanks to all of you that emailed. We'll start this one off with the cars.

It could always be worse.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 04 DEC 08)

2008-11-22T06:19:00.004-06:00

Cook County Open Post (Closed 22 Nov 08)

2008-11-12T18:23:00.009-06:00

Danny Butterman: So what made you want to become a policeman?
Nicholas Angel: Officer.
Danny Butterman: What made you want to become a policeman-officer?
Nicholas Angel: I don't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer... apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog. It all started with my Uncle Derek. He was a Sergeant in the Met. He bought me a police pedal car when I was five. I rode around in it every second I was awake - arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting. I got beaten up a lot when I was young, but it didn't stop me. I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.
Danny Butterman: He sounds like a good bloke.
Nicholas Angel: Actually, he was arrested for selling drugs to students.
Danny Butterman: What a cunt...
Nicholas Angel: Probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds. Needless to say, I never went near it again. I just let it rust. But I never lost the profound sense of right and wrong I felt at the wheel of that pedal car. I had to prove to myself that the Law could be proper and righteous and for the good of humankind. It was from that moment that I was destined to be a police officer.
Danny Butterman: Shame...
Nicholas Angel: How so?
Danny Butterman: I think you would have made a great Muppet...

Cook County Open Post (Closed 12 NOV 08)

2008-11-02T08:59:00.005-06:00

Police officers approach opposition supporters during a rally against Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili in central Tbilisi on Nov. 7, 2007. (From Time Magazine)

Cook County Open Post (Closed 02 NOV 08)

2008-10-16T23:21:00.004-05:00

William Somerset: This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.
David Mills: He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

David Mills: I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah?
When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around,
reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go,
"Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!"? Yeah. Do you guys do that?

Cook County Open Post (Closed 16 OCT 08)

2008-10-03T00:17:00.006-05:00

Walter Chalmers: Frank, we must all compromise.
Bullitt: Bullshit.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 03 OCT 08)

2008-09-25T01:45:00.004-05:00

Dr. Feelgood: You ain't got nothing on me!
Danny McGavin: I got handcuffs on you.
--------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Feelgood: Hey man, these handcuffs are too tight.
Danny McGavin: Well they ain't built for comfort, pal.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 25 SEP 08)

2008-09-14T11:02:00.004-05:00

Alan Marciano: Why'd I get mixed up with that bitch?
Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass... and you got your head all the way up it! Ferocious, aren't I? When I think of asses, a woman's ass, something comes out of me.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 14 SEP 08)

2008-09-07T13:27:00.004-05:00

Max: I'm scared, Fif. It's that rat circus out there, I'm beginning to enjoy it. Look, any longer out on that road and I'm one of them, a terminal psychotic, except that I've got this bronze badge that says that I'm one of the good guys.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 07 SEP 08)

2008-09-01T03:28:00.013-05:00

Bill Reimers: [during an argument about who killed Kennedy, Bill checks the fridge] Those bastards. They ate everything and left us a dog turd.
Chris Lecce: Ralph Warren left us a dog turd?
Bill Reimers: No, Phil and Jack. I am gonna get those guys. I don't know how, but I will.
Chris Lecce: Give me the keys. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?
Bill Reimers: Truth and justice.
Chris Lecce: Anything else?
Bill Reimers: Doughnuts.
Chris Lecce: Why not? We're cops.

Cook County Open Post (Closed 07 SEP 08)

2008-08-22T06:49:00.009-05:00

Bunk: You've lost you're fuckin' mind Jimmy, look at'cha! Half late every third night, dead drunk every second. Nut deep in random pussy.
What little time you do spend sober and limp dick, you're workin murders that don't even exist!

Cook County Open Post (Closed 22 AUG 08)

2008-08-16T01:05:00.005-05:00

Vic Mackey: Ay, Mo. Your sister's ass really tastes as sweet as Alvarez here says it does? He wants to know what your momma's putting in the corn muffin.